If only
by House-of-Aensland
Summary: Three-shot. A look into a slightly different love triangle. Farkle/Lucas/Riley
1. Wildest Dreams

Summary: It was easier to live in the comfort of his lies rather than face reality. It wasn't love, whatever it was that they had. But he had Lucas, and that was all that mattered.

Pairing:Farkle/Lucas/Riley. Rated 'M' for language and adult situations.

Notes: It's a three parter, each chapter reflecting Farkle, Lucas, and Riley's POV on their relationship.

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Chapter One: Wildest Dreams

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He should have been drowning in bliss, really. Here Farkle was, wrapped up in a bright blue blanket with Lucas's arm draped over his body, fingers ghosting over his hip. Sweat had dried into his skin, making him uncomfortably sticky-Lucas's added body heat wasn't doing anything to help that situation. That was the price, he supposed, for the previous night's activities. His hand trailed the base of his neck and collarbone, where Lucas had been particularly aggressive. He was sure the bruises would be quite visible in the morning.

 _If only time could stand still…_ He sighed as he reached _down_ to clasp the Texan's hand in his own, shame slowly washing over him. There were only a few hours left before the sun rose, bringing with it his departure. _Why do I keep doing this?_ Of course, the boy genius knew the answer to this. How many times had he asked himself this question?

These were the nights that Farkle lived for, where it was easiest for him to pretend that this was a normal, healthy relationship. These were the times that he could believe that Lucas truly loved him. He could push all other worries out of his mind, believe that he had finally found happiness. He could tell himself that Riley didn't matter, that he should put his desires before hers. Life wasn't fair for anyone, Riley included. Deep down, he knew better. He was disgusted with himself.

Four years ago, at the start of their high school career, Farkle had confessed his love. At the time, he had told himself he was over the bull riding Adonis, chalked it up to him idolizing the guy. On top of that, Lucas was in love with Riley; there was no way he could ever come in between the pair. So when he had finally mustered up the courage to tell Lucas his feelings, he had accepted defeat and bowed out gracefully. Lucas just wasn't into guys; Farkle's world wouldn't end because of it.

He hadn't anticipated that Lucas just might be a little receptive to the idea of being with another dude.

**Flashback**

"Look, Lucas, stop. I'm not interested." The younger teen had lead Lucas into an empty hallway, away from everyone else. It was Friday, after all: only nerds and dorks would remain on campus so late on the weekend. While Farkle was comfortable and 'out' with his friends, he didn't want the rest of the high school to know his preferences.

"Will you just hear me out?" Lucas pleaded, taking a step closer.

"No. It's not fair to anyone, Lucas. Not to me, not to Riley." Farkle could see a flash of regret cross his face. "Just...stop now. I won't tell anyone." He added softly.

"It's not like that. I'm not just stringing you along for shits and giggles-"

"Riley." Farkle gritted out. "What about your girlfriend?"

"Farkle," Lucas said softly, "Don't worry about that. I know Riley will understand." He took another step forward, causing Farkle to take a step back. The smaller teen found himself pressed against a locker. "Trust me."

"Lucas…" Blue eyes met green, and Farkle knew he lost. The last of his resolve crumbled when Lucas's lips pressed gently against his own.

/end/

A quiet groan escaped Farkle's lips and he gripped the strong, calloused hand tighter. If he hadn't been so weak, he wouldn't have gotten himself into this mess in the first place. But his life had been so lonely, so miserable-particularly after his parents divorce. There had been some good moments here and there, he wouldn't lie. And hell, he had some amazing friends. But this was the one thing Farkle had ever wanted, the only thing he felt he had been denied in his life: love. Now that he had gotten a taste for it, he wasn't about to let it go.

Lucas's hand moved up over to Farkle's stomach, and the older teen pulled him closer to his body. The movement caught Farkle off guard, and for a moment, he was drawn out of his thoughts. Small gestures like these meant the world to him. Lucas couldn't possibly fake things like this. Right?

 _Get it together, Farkle._ He allowed his head to rest against Lucas's bare chest. _There's no point in overthinking it. Even if Lucas is using me...it's not like I would leave him._ He twisted his head to look at his best friend's face, and was surprised to find green eyes staring back at him. A small smile formed on his lips, despite himself.

"You're up early." Farkle commented. "What's the occasion?" He felt his smile slip. _Is it time to leave already?_

"I could feel your angst radiating into my dreams." Lucas's voice was thick with sleep, but it was still the sexiest thing he had ever heard. "Care to share your thoughts?"

"No, not really." They had this argument far too many times for his liking. It didn't get them anywhere. Really, the best thing to do was to ignore it at this point. After all, doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result was the very definition of insanity, right? "It's nothing we can fix."

"Ah, buddy...don't be like that." Lucas sat up. Farkle couldn't help but notice that the blanket was barely covering his lap. "Just talk to me."

"Really, Lucas. It's alright." Farkle did his best to give a reassuring smile. _I mean, it's been four damn years. It's a little too late to end it now._ Seeing the skeptical look on his partners face, he leaned forward and kissed him. "It's getting late-or, rather, it's very early. You need to leave soon, right?" His heart clenched. _Back to Riley, yes?_ As much as he'd love to tell Lucas exactly that, he held back. He always did.

"Nah. I wanna stay with you tonight. If you'd let me?" His green eyes seemed to shine in the darkness, piercing straight through Farkle's being. It was almost as if he was daring Farkle to deny him.

"You want to...stay?" Farkle swallowed hard, butterflies erupting in his stomach. It seemed that Lucas could tell when Farkle was doubting this-whatever it was they had. Those were the times when his Texas-Style manners kicked in, when he felt that maybe a fuck and flee was a tad harsh. Whether it was out of pity, desperation, or genuine affection, Farkle didn't care to find out. He grabbed Lucas's hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze as Lucas nodded. "Of course I'll let you."

Lucas grinned in response, pulling the younger teen into a kiss. "Good. Are you ready for round two?"

Lucas placed open mouthed kisses on Farkle's throat, and he lost himself in the moment. When all was done, only Farkle would lie awake until the sun rose. He would be disgusted with himself for allowing this charade to continue. He would hate that he valued this more than his relationship with Riley. What he hated the most, though, was that he gave Lucas so much of himself, that only a shell was left.

 _I want you to stay all the time. Not just when you feel guilty._

XXX

Wearing turtlenecks brought a certain comfort to Farkle. It reminded him of simpler times, back when his biggest worry was whether he should take Maya or Riley to the Buggy Awards. They also provided a great way to hide the love bites (Lucas had come up with that term) that decorated his neck. He examined himself in the full body mirror, making sure not even a single strand of hair was out of place. He was sure that the girls, and even Zay, would question why he switched back to the turtleneck geek chic. His outfit would have to be immaculate, the perfect "Throwback Thursday" look. It was a weak excuse, but it would work well enough on his friends.

Strong hands gripped his hips, and Farkle winced-just how many bruises did he get last night?

"Mornin'" Lucas pulled Farkle in, kissing the genius' temple. "I hope I wasn't too rough last night."

"It wasn't anything I couldn't handle." Farkle mumbled, blushing.

"'Course you could." Lucas laughed. "You're cute when you blush." He continued to place kisses along Farkle's jaw, making his way to the younger teens ear lobe. He gently bit down, earning a moan from Farkle.

"We have to go to school, Lucas." Farkle tilted his head up to get a good look at Lucas. "We had plenty of fun last night."

Lucas let out a sigh. "I guess." He released Farkle and made his way to the door, picking up his bag as he passed the threshold. "You coming?" He called from the hallway.

"Yeah, I'll be right there." Farkle released a sigh of his own before gathering his belongings. He trailed behind Lucas as they left the Minkus estate. Briefly, he wondered if he had upset Lucas; rationally speaking, there was no reason for it.

 _I only said we should get going…_ He absentmindedly ran his fingers on a railing as he walked. _He's so unpredictable. I never know what he's thinking._ He glanced at Lucas, and was surprised at how far ahead he was.

"Lucas-" God, he hated how desperate he sounded. Regardless, Lucas stopped for Farkle and turned around. He smiled warmly as Farkle approached. "Can we talk about this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Us, Lucas." Farkle was determined. He wasn't going to drop this: he deserved answers, and damn it, Lucas was gonna deliver.

"What about us?" Lucas appeared genuinely confused, which only furthered Farkle's frustration.

"You can't be-" He was cut off as Lucas took his hands in his own.

"There's nothing to worry about. You know I love you." He brought Farkle's hands to his mouth and placed a kiss on his knuckles. "Really, what's there to talk about?"

The thoughts died in his mind. It appeared that Lucas had won once again. It didn't matter that, when the pair met up with the girls, Lucas embraced Riley and and kissed her. It didn't matter that, once again, Farkle was treated as nothing more than a friend while they were in school. Maya's suspicious glances, Smackle's concerned stare, and Zay's exasperated sighs were ignored-all because Lucas said the words Farkle had never dreamed he would ever hear, least of all from Lucas.

XXX

I hope you enjoyed this. Please leave a review if you liked it. Chapter two will be Lucas, and I'm so excited to write it.


	2. Monster

Notes on this story can be found in my profile. Please, enjoy!

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Chapter 2: Monster

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Lucas wiped the trail of blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. He smiled darkly, green eyes shining with excitement.

"Lucky shot." He raised his fists, glad to see that the little shit that challenged him had genuine fear in his eyes. "I mean, I took out the rest of the team. Do you think you stand a chance?"

Indeed, four other guys-all on the football team-lay sprawled on the ground. The last guy, Jake, if Lucas recalled correctly, was all that was left.

"I'm not scared of you, Lucas." The other boy sneered. "I'm gonna kick your ass. And when I'm done with you, your little fag friend's next."

There is was. The word, the rumor that started this fight. Red clouded his vision as he charged in. Lucas was vaguely aware of the punches and kicks that landed on his body, but he didn't register the pain. All he knew was that he enjoyed the feeling of his fists connecting with Jake's mouth, the twisted satisfaction that he was causing so much pain to Farkle's would-be bully.

 _Farkle._ The thought of the boy-his Farkle, brought him to his senses. He hadn't realized that Jake was unconscious. Lucas didn't know when he passed out, and he didn't really care either. The other boy's shirt was soaked with blood, and Lucas dropped him in disgust.

 _Fag._ God, how Lucas _hated_ that word. It followed him around wherever he went. From Texas to New York, he couldn't escape that ugly word. _Fag._ What kids at his old school used to call him because he was a sensitive boy. _Fag._ The term his father used to describe the undesirables-those that God did not favor and would repent in Hell for all eternity for their sin.

 _Fag._

He took a few breaths. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, the pain began to catch up to him. He needed to clean up, and fast. He was supposed to meet up with Riley in an hour and a half, but he sure as hell couldn't see her like this. Lucas also knew he couldn't go home in this state. Both parents would have far too many questions to ask, putting him in a precarious position.

He knew he couldn't tell Farkle about this, either. He could never let Farkle know of all the fights he had gotten into on the genius' behalf. Lucas was sure that Farkle wouldn't like it; despite wanting to conquer the world, he was quite the pacifist. He found fighting to be so barbaric, Lucas knew that. He didn't want Farkle to think any less of him.

So, that left either Maya or Zay, or rather, Maya _and_ Zay. Ever since the pair had started dating, they were inseparable. _Besides, I'll need both of their talents._ He winced as he reached into his pocket to pull his phone out. Maybe those thugs had gotten more than one lucky shot after all.

"Zay, are you with Maya? Good. Bring your first aid kit and her make up kit. Yeah," he paused and rolled his eyes. Zay was overreacting, as usual, "I'll tell you both when you get here. I'm at the park, see you soon."

Indeed, the Texan found himself wandering his familiar route. He found comfort in this particular park, as it was the closest thing to nature he had. It wasn't like Texas, but it would have do. It didn't have heavy foot traffic, particularly during this time of day, making it the perfect spot to reflect. And damn, did Lucas need to reflect.

 _I'm such a tool._ He sighed as he sat on a bench, resting his head in his hands. _They don't deserve this._ He knew that everyone in their friend group was at least somewhat aware of their threeway "relationship". It was weird, this elephant in the room: no one ever talked about it, afraid of what might transpire. Farkle didn't talk to Riley about it, nor did the pair ever bring it up to Lucas-though, Farkle sure as hell tried.

But every time, Lucas found a way to shut it down. He was too afraid of what would happen. He couldn't lose him. Farkle meant the world to Lucas, and he would do anything to keep him. Sometimes that meant kissing the genius in the hallway, holding his hand on the subway, or fighting idiots who dared to say anything negative about him. It also meant avoiding questions, like "what was it they had", or "is this a normal relationship", or the ever faithful "what about Riley?".

That was a minefield Lucas intended to avoid as long as he could. He wasn't sure what Riley was to him anymore. Yes, he loved her-he was sure about that. But the way in which he did was up for debate. He didn't love her the way he loved Farkle. Riley was delicate, sophisticated and...predictable. She was the obvious choice, and always had been.

They had settled down rather quickly, they were so similar-they were so _boring_ together. But he knew it would be a relationship he could easily maintain. Everyone expected them to get together, no one questioned it. No one could have guessed that he was interested in someone else entirely.

No one could guess that he loved a Farkle. Lucas had thought he had buried those 'queer' thoughts in Texas. He had been young and impressionable, the work of those damned liberals as his father explained it. He was tough now, a man's man. He didn't think he would have found someone so intelligent, so adorable...so interesting. But Lucas was with Riley, and there was no way Farkle could have been interested.

But he was. When Farkle revealed his feelings, Lucas jumped on the opportunity. It was sticky, dealing with Riley, but he managed it. He got what he desired most: a girlfriend for appearances, and a boyfriend for pleasure.

He hated himself for it. _If I wasn't such a damned coward, things could be different. Riley and Farkle deserve a real boyfriend._ He sighed again and relaxed into his seat. He pulled out his phone and checked the time: he only had an hour left before he had to meet up with Riley. _Where are they?_

Just as he was about to call them, the pair rounded the corner. Zay frowned as he took in Lucas' appearance, Maya's expression no better.

"Well, Huckleberry," Maya drawled, "whatever happened to your purty face?"

"Yeah, man. You've definitely seen better days." Zay added, looking him up and down.

Lucas shrugged as he slowly stood up. "They were gonna give Farkle problems. I couldn't stand by and do nothing."

Maya raised a delicate eyebrow. "Oh, so now you care about him?"

Lucas' eyes flashed. "Don't." He warned.

"Maya, Lucas, do we gotta do this now?" Zay asked as he pulled out his first aid kit. He dabbed at the cuts around Lucas' face, with a little more force than Lucas thought was necessary. Sometimes, Lucas forgot how ingrained Zay was with their friend group now. Of course he would have reservations about the way Lucas treated Farkle and Riley.

"I do think you should cancel your date with Riley though. You're too banged up dude." To emphasize his point, he pressed down on Lucas's ribs, causing the older boy to groan.

"Your clothes are bloodstained, too." Maya added. "I'm sure Riles would love to know why. I mean, the girl is ditsy, but she ain't dumb."

"It's settled then. You're not going." Zay concluded.

"Guys, Riley was looking forward to this date." Lucas had been through much worse than this, he could put up with a little pain for Riley. "I'd feel really bad if I had to cancel on her on such short notice."

"But you don't care that you've been stringing both her and Farkle along for our entire high school career?" Maya snapped. "Riley and Farkle may be fine with this bullshit, but I'm not."

"You don't-"

"No, Lucas. You listen to me." Maya roughly pulled him by the collar of his shirt, staring straight into his eyes. "This has been going on too long. You're hurting both of them. You know, they know it, we _all_ know it." She looked at Zay for support. "I'm not wrong, am I?"

"Don't get me involved." Zay raised his arms in defense and stated between the pair. "I may not like it, but it's their business." His response was met with an incredulous stare on Maya's part. "Babe, we all know what's going on. It's their choice."

"But-"

"Look, I'm gonna be late for my date." Lucas abruptly stood up, knocking Maya's hands off of him in the process. "Can you please cover up some of the bruises, Maya? If not for me, for her?" He knew that was a low blow, but he needed an easy out. Indeed, he saw Maya's eyes soften as she pulled out her makeup bag.

"Fine. But don't think this is over, Sundance." She carefully applied concealer over the darkest bruises on his face.

"Thank you." He relaxed as she worked her magic. "You're a great artist, Maya, and an even better friend." She hummed in response.

"...I don't know why she stays." She mused. "Do you?"

 _I don't, Maya. I really don't._

XXX

Lucas was just in time for the movies. Maya had once again done a superb job at masking his injuries. There would be some swelling, sure, but they were gonna be shrouded in darkness for the majority of their date. Maya assured him Riley wouldn't notice. Additionally, Lucas had traded shirts with Zay. _No more bloodstains. No questions. We can just enjoy our date._

He wasn't surprised that Riley was already there, waiting. She was a punctual person, after all. She smiled warmly at him, and he couldn't help but smile back at her. She was a genuinely kind individual, and goddammit did she deserve someone better than him.

He shoved those thoughts aside, however, as she bounded up to him and gave him a kiss.

"Ready, boyfriend?" She stared up at him with wide eyes. She had elegant eyes that pulled him in, eyes that were so expressive.

"Ready, girlfriend." He grinned and placed an arm around her slim waist. They walked in the theater, with her latched to his side. _This I can do._ He bought the tickets, the snacks and a single drink to share because that's what boyfriends did. He did it because it was routine, because it was normal. And while he laughed and gasped in all the right places, his mind was far, far away. He was still preoccupied with what he really wanted in life.

When Riley rested her head on his shoulder though, he reached out and took her hand in his by reflex. They finished the movie like that, with him playing pretend. It continued throughout their dinner, and damn did he play that part well. Briefly, he wondered if it was his own parents' twisted marriage had any influence on him. _They've been faking it for as long as I can remember._

But he continued to act his part, continued to use his Southern Charm. And like the gentleman he was, he walked her home. They talked about the movie-he asked her what she enjoyed the most, and he really did listen. He loved hearing Riley talk. She was just so passionate, it was hard not to.

 _We're the perfect couple, the next generation "Cory and Topanga"._

As Riley's perfect boyfriend, he got her home on time and sent her off with a goodnight kiss. He gave a firm handshake to Mr. Matthews that was met with a few threats muttered under his favorite teacher's breath, and a polite nod to Mrs. Matthews as she gave a sympathetic smile in return. How he fooled two smart people into thinking he was such a catch for their daughter was beyond him.

 _Hell, how anyone thinks I'm great is beyond my scope._

And without any guilt, he made his way to Farkle's place. _I mean, I have to make sure he's okay._ At least, that's what he told himself. He knew that none of Farkle's bullies would dare to harm the genius-Lucas made sure of that. But any excuse, any justification was all he needed to keep the charade up.

Farkle was, much like Riley, patiently waiting for Lucas to arrive. His heart clenched-Lucas knew how fucked this was-but smiled anyway.

"You alright, buddy?"

"Of course, Lucas." Farkle smiled shyly and leaned up for a kiss.

 _I hope to keep it that way._ His worries were still at the back of his mind, but Lucas ignored them. For now, everything was working out. There was no inclination that either Riley or Farkle would leave. No one really knew that he was _queer,_ that it wasn't just Farkle. He was really getting away with it. He knew the severity of the situation, he knew he couldn't live this lie forever. One day he'd have to choose, and he knew who it'd be. But that was a problem for a different day, a day that would hopefully be far, FAR away.

 _I hope to keep everything just the way it is._

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	3. Kiss it Better

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Chapter 3: Kiss it Better

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All parents damaged their kids in some way, this was just a fact of life. There was a quote floating around that seemed to sum up the idea perfectly: children are like glass-whether they're smudged, cracked or broken depends on how their parent's handled them. Now, it wasn't as if Riley hated her parent, or thought she came from a broken home. No, her parents showered her with love and affection, encouraged her to pursue her goals. They were team Riley, even when Riley wasn't. She was truly blessed to have Cory and Topanga as parents.

No, the damage came from the nature of her parent's relationship. The epic love story known as 'Cory and Topanga', while so pure and genuine, had royally screwed her over. She felt the silent pressure of finding her true love at a young age, keeping him throughout her high school and to the end of eternity. They may have never said it out loud exactly, but she knew that's what they wanted. Ever since she was a child, she never questioned what her love life might be. Even sweet Auggie found Eva for Christ's sake!

So, when she met Lucas on that subway, Riley thought she finally found her soulmate. They complimented each other so well, the couple that the entire school was rooting for her. They fit together _perfectly_ : to her, there was never really any question that they would end up together. At that time, she thought that this was the extent of her damage from her parents: a smudge. She was relentless when it came to Lucas, but every girlfriend should be that dedicated to their boyfriend.

 _Right?_

So, when Lucas had approached her about his feelings for Farkle, her mind sort of...shut down. Farkle had never been a factor in obtaining Lucas-Maya had, yes, back in middle school when they had that silly little love triangle, but Farkle? She knew that Farkle was gay, or at least bisexual. But Lucas?

All she knew was that she had to keep him. So she put on a smile and encouraged him to try things with the genius. The catch was that, at the end of the day, he had to come back to her. _They_ were a couple, and Farkle could be on the side. At first, she convinced herself that Lucas was only looking for sex. She could handle a boyfriend that cheated physically. She couldn't handle a guy that cheated emotionally, who could say "I love you" to anyone but her.

He had promised that his relationship with Farkle was just that-experimentation. But that was four years ago, and she wasn't stupid. She knew now that Lucas had feelings for the both of them. She knew that Lucas loved Farkle more than he loved her.

She could see it in the way he stared at the younger boy, the way that he spent more and more time with Farkle over her. He sat a stood a little closer in the hallways, treated him to lunch frequently, and got in fights for Farkle. Riley knew only because Maya had told her long ago: she noticed the bruises on his face, and could identify the makeup on his wounds as products that her bestfriend used. Her friends didn't give her enough credit, she was much smarter than she appeared. She didn't question him about it. She continued to play the role of a perfect girlfriend, but two very important reasons.

She knew the kind of people his parents were.

/Flashback\\\

"And in other news, a bakery is under fire for refusing to make a wedding cake for a gay couple." She had been in the Friar house, sitting on a comfortable couch with Lucas in their humble living room. They were watching the news with Lucas's father, while his mother was preparing dinner in the kitchen.

Riley heard Lucas's father snort at that. "Disgusting, ain't it?" He gestured vaguely to the T.V, the remote in his hand.

"I'll say!" Riley nodded. "To think that-"

"They'd make a private business cater to a bunch of fags? What has the country degenerated into?" He stared at Riley with an eyebrow raised before turning back to the news, shaking his head. "Back in my day, none of this shit would be tolerated. The gays were silent back then, and it was a good thing."

She was stunned. That certainly wasn't she was going to say. She looked up at Lucas, shocked. His jaw was clenched, his stare focused on the wall. He could probably feel her gaze, as he shook his head slightly.

"Ain't that right, Lucas?" There seemed to be a hint of a challenge in Mr. Friar's voice, as if he somehow knew of his relations with Farkle.

"Yeah, paw. It just ain't right." He was still staring at the wall, but his expression was unreadable.

"What isn't right?" Mrs. Friar stepped into the living room, lightly dusting her hands on her apron.

"Them gays, honey." Her husband answered. "Can you believe that they're forcing a good Christian bakery to cater to a gay wedding?"

She clucked her tongue and shook her head, placing her dainty wrists on her hips. 'How terrible! It's a violation of our freedom of religion! What a horrid, sinful life...but, you know dear, it's best to pray. Maybe they'll find God."

"Doubt it. If you could pray the gay away, you wouldn't have good Christian families being torn apart. Why, just the other week, the Ferguson's back home found out their daughter was a damn lesbian!"

"No!" His wife looked scandalized, and Riley did her best to tune out their conversation. She looked back to Lucas and placed a hand on his thigh sympathetically.

He kept his gaze straight forward.

/End\\\

His parents were homophobic. Lucas couldn't love Farkle openly. The realization had made her pity Lucas. _He can't be with Farkle as long as he lives with them._ That was the reason why he wanted to keep Riley, to keep up his appearances. And while that hurt her, she finally understood why Lucas was the way he was. She could put his feelings, his desires first. Her pain would be something she just had to deal with.

Her second reason was much more selfish. As long as she kept Lucas around, she could pretend her life was perfect. Her parents would be happy that she found her supposed soul mate. She wouldn't need to face their disappointment-her own disappointment. She could hold off that heartbreak for a while later.

Indeed, despite her father threatening Lucas every time they came back from a date, she knew he was so happy. Cory was certain that Lucas was 'the one' for his little girl, and Riley didn't want to take that away from him. Even her mother, who was much more balanced, was sure that the two were meant for each other. How could she tell her parents that Lucas wasn't the perfect package?

She bit her lip in nervousness, absentmindedly twisting her hair in her fingers. _I don't have much time left. We're graduating soon...Once we do, Lucas can move far away. He can be free to love Farkle. He can leave his parents behind. He can leave me._ These thoughts had plagued her since the beginning of his relationship with Farkle, but they were becoming more frequent as time passed. She knew it would be for the better, that she could finally start to heal.

But that also meant that she would have to admit just how wrong this was. The walls that she carefully constructed would come crumbling down, with it the fact that she and Lucas were not meant to be, that they never were. She would have to admit that Lucas stole so much of her life-and she let him. She had no one to blame but herself, she knew that: and that's what scared her the most.

Her parents, even Maya would want to say it was his fault. That would be the way that they tried to comfort her, and it wouldn't work. She knew of the whole affair, and she should have backed out long ago. It was that simple.

 _There's no point in worrying about it now._ She willed the thoughts out of her mind as she heard her door open, her beautiful mother coming through her doorway.

"Honey, your boyfriend is here to pick you up for your date." She smiled at her daughter, and Riley smiled back.

 _If only you really knew…_

XXX

Riley was really hard to write, actually. It didn't come as naturally as Lucas or Farkle, and I think it's because she's a happy-go-lucky type character, which kind of doesn't fit with this narrative. I wanted to emphasize her willingness to put her friends before herself-so, hopefully I got that right.

Thank you for reading!


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